Conflicting opinions

What was a already fragile situation has esculated into something more. I don't know if I can take all this pain. I really do feel like second best, although I know this isn't the case.
One really shitty thing is that if I don't see whitewolfen this weekend, then it'll be a long while before I see him again. It could be one week, or four, or months, and at worst a year. I'm so emotional, I won't even make it past Monday without seeing him >.<

I have cried myself to sleep every single night this week, it's been absolute hell. Ambivilance is a fucked up emotion, I feel anger and pain at the same time.

Gah I hate being like this, it's eating me alive! Even the two DVD's I bought today (WarGames and Mad Max) haven't done much to cheer me up. Only two people have managed
to help me today, orona_red and afurinwales. Kudos and much thanks to you for that.
I knew this year was going to be mostly shit, on account of New Years Eve being poo too.

It's these sort of things that make people turn to drugs. Why is the world in this state? Too many fucktards.
Why are they fucktards? Because they're parents dont give a shit.
Why dont their parents give a shit? Because they're fucktards.
Vicious circle time.

Maybe my heart would serve a better purpose pickled?